This has been a interesting week for me. I’ve been reflecting on my life and looking at how far God has brought me. I’ve dealt with a battle between the flesh and the spirit and the spirit has won, but my whole life has been a war and the war is still going on. Ever since I allowed God to take over as Captain all I want to do is continue seeking hard after Him. My flesh is weakening as my spirit is strengthening. I feel this is what it truly means to be a Christian, to live in the spirit and not by the flesh. The world lives by the flesh and living by the flesh makes it so hard to understand who God is. To understand who God is you must give up the things of this world and seek Him out. The more you seek Him the less you want of this world. Here’s the thing, once you die you can’t take the world with you, but if you truly know God you will be able to enter His heavenly world that is much greater than what we live in.
Side comments by me: I have always been a believer of Christ, but I wasn’t exactly living by the word. I was what I heard in a radioblog a “casual Christian”, a believer, but not living by the word, going to church to just hear the message, but not applying it to my life, flip through the Bible every once in a while and not taking the time to understand it, and praying to God, but not truly speaking with Him. The moment I actually allowed God to be Captain was August of last year. God had to take away everything from me that I thought was what I was supposed to have. He humbled me and made me realize that I’m not in control of my life, but He is and my life is not for me and my benefit, but for His will and glory. I have changed so much I even amaze myself.
Just continue seeking Him and trusting Him. He has everything under control and never doubt Him. If God says He is going to do something, please believe He will do it. I realize how blessed I am to finally allow God to be the Father (as I’ve been calling Him Captain) of my life. I finally understand and fully accept the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Sometimes when I listen to the song “hear I am to worship” and it gets to the verse I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sins upon that cross, I think about what it felt like for Jesus to have died for every single person’s sins on this earth past, present, and future and what comes to mind is imagining yourself dying by ants eating at you. And not just eating like nimbling here and there I mean having ants on every inch of your body. Every part of your body covered with ants and they eating you, pulling at your flesh until there is nothing left of you, but bones.