So this summer has been pretty interesting and God has been making a lot of moves in my life. Each move that is being made is really getting to me. God is teaching me patience. Patience requires a person to wait, but there is something more to patience than just waiting it how you react while you are waiting. I’m going to be vulnerable right now and explain some personal things that have been teaching me patience. Two major things this summer have had an emotional toll on me, 1) for the past several months I have had an older gentleman teasing me and complimenting basically just flirting with me all together. I didn’t pay him any mind just figure take the compliments and keep moving. Well at the beginning of June his interaction with me changed. He became overly friendly with me and his flirtation increased. I slowly started to getting uncomfortable with his interaction with me to the point that I was practically living in fear. I didn’t want to be around him, the sight of someone who resembled him freaked me out, I’d jump if I heard his name, I had nightmare about the man, and I was constantly complaining about him to my friends. Then it finally took one day when someone gave me a nickname in regards to him. That was it! I reached my breaking point. I made a complaint for sexual harassment. 2) I have a male friend who is dear to me and truly care about. Over the short time of getting to know him I grew to love him and saw a lot of similarities between us. As the short time past I kept seeing little signs pointing at marriage towards him. Then one day it hit me that God was telling that this is my future husband. I was truly amazed to find this out especially being a person that was never big on wanting marriage, but I was thrilled to know this and accepted it in my heart and soul. A few years past and we continued on our friendship from a distance since we couldn’t physically be together and then eventually he started dating someone, which was hard for me to accept, but I knew as long I kept trust, faith, and hope in God and His timing and if my friend and I are truly meant to be then God will make it so. Well, couple of weeks ago in conversation with my friend he tells me that he is going to marry his girlfriend in about 2 years. When I heard that I became devastated, I abruptly left and had a flesh vs the spirit moment. I took a long walk out in the dark cursing, wanting to cry and couldn’t, asking God why?, having horrible thoughts about what I could or should do, thinking to myself did I make all this up myself and think it was God showing it to me, I prayed, asked God for forgiveness for my behavior, calmed myself down and reminded myself to continue to trust, have faith and hope in God that He is in control and if its meant to be He will make it so. That next day I told my friend why I became upset and left our conversation the way I did. After a very long time of keeping it to myself and asking God to show my friend that I am his wife, I told my friend that I want to be his wife. There have been other things working on my patience such as dorm life: making arrangements for moving, waking up and entering the restroom to find half of the stalls nasty and unflushed, talking to people and they are not listening to what you say, but going on and on about what it is they are talking about, I want to get my jaw fixed, but don’t have the means to right now, I want to be in my career already and working, campus dining: spending so much money for a meal plan just to be limited to 3 places to eat and by the time the quarter ends half of the money I didn’t get to spend on my meal plan will go to waste rather to be used for my other educational purposes, and finding that I may have another older gentleman interested in me. Everyday there is something different and new and with each experience God is molding me and teaching me to be the woman he has created me to be.
What I’m learning about having patience:
1) handle yourself in a calm manner don’t lose your head
2) don’t make quick decisions on a temporary emotion
3) forgiveness: don’t hold ill feelings in your heart, you’ll never heal and you will react against people with resentment
4) people are going to do or say things you don’t like, just accept it
5) having patience doesn’t mean something is not going to bother you
6) though we don’t like it, we have to open up and be vulnerable to people about how we feel
7) take careful precaution about resolving a problem
8) things happen in God’s timing not our’s
9) don’t lean on your own understanding or take matters into your own hands, pray about it and trust God
10) if you ask God to show you something or do something for you He will do it
11) things happen for a reason
12) sometimes people just need to talk and I just need to listen
13) God is preparing us and if we get what we want now, we won’t be ready for it
14) without patience you’ll never know true Holy love
15) makes you selfless and focus on what others need
16) gives you the opportunity to take care of other things in your life or gives you new opportunities
17) builds up maturity
18) don’t give up so easily
19) helps you to recognize your own potential
20) trust that what you are waiting for will be available to you
21) don’t dwell on things, know the difference of what is important and whats not
22) reminds you to focus on whats in front you now and not worry about what has not come to pass
23) to value not settling for less than God’s best
24) not to make a fool out of yourself, lol
25) gives you confidence that you can handle any situation
26) “Good things come to those who wait.”
27) makes you wiser
28) drives out fear, doubt, and worry
29) makes you stronger
30) it’s a test of faith
Ok, I could continue adding more of what patience has taught me, but I don’t want to over stress it so I’m going to end this with a scripture. (James 1: 2-8) 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
Living in Righteousness 